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Why progress is not about eliminating one thing for another.

Often people forget the incredible things they have already done in their lives.

Or what it took to get them there. What it was like at the beginning of that journey and the navigation of the challenges that lay up ahead. The unexpected curve balls. The sleepless nights. The worry. The things you thought you might never do and yet have done.


One of the biggest mistakes we make when it comes to change is believing that we have to remove everything we don’t like before we can move forward.


Some of the biggest decisions and risks are taken, without any certainty of success, longevity or happiness. A lifelong commitment to a future that has absolutely no roadmap.


Parents who desire having another child regardless of the sleepless nights, the exhaustion or any idea of how it will go this time around.


The career move you make whilst already in debt because it's a chance you're willing to take to get you out.


The business you started with no idea of what you were doing or any idea if it would work.


Yet the focus remained on possibility and the willingness to make it happen. That the way forward is forward. Conditions are never perfect. If we looked back at the things we are most proud of, we would realise that those achievements were rarely created under perfect circumstances.They were created while they were still figuring things out.


And so I keep wondering. Why do we often try to tackle the aspects of discomfort by a process of elimination? Trying to pre-empt the outcome. Eliminating uncertainty before deciding. Trying to eradicate failure to avoid disappointment.


Just because we are afraid does not mean we cannot make a move. We can feel paralysed by doubt, fear or indecision or the cost of staying the same starts to outweigh them.

However much of it you can take. However resilient you are.




Just because we gain confidence does not mean we don't still feel anxious or afraid.

Trust does not emerge by the elimination of doubt. It is only by accumulated evidence of doing something whilst those emotions are still present. So that we tip the scale towards the desired outcome. Not the other way round.


If we waited for certainty, trust or courage we would never move or make a decision or take a risk. Because the former do not arrive by themselves; their counter opposites give them meaning and drive. We do not elimnate fear first.We move because our desire creates a greater pull to tip us enough towards the outcome we are aiming for. It is in the moment that shift occurs that courage is created, trust emerges, strength appears, recovery happens. Over time these compound to keep the scale tipped towards those charateristics- to those desired outcomes. But that does not mean their counter parts do not and should not exist. It is what makes us human. It can move people to become great athletes, performers. There is an important point to the existence of duality.


Why put so much effort into what you don't want and put it instead into what you do want? What is possible. Not what is currently not possible.

When you focus on eliminating the pain, you miss the moments you need to make improvement. For the evidence of successful moments to compound towards change.


We have to lean more to one side than the other to make improvement. You have aleady done this elswehere within your life if you think back. Somehow you may think this is different. It's not. They are one and the same system, you've simply given it a different meaning. But it's the same mechanism underneath. Same risk vs reward scenario. Same challenge. Same opportunity.


The question is which way are you leaning?


So you cannot make progress or improve by constantly focusing on the very thing you do not want to feel. Pain science shows us that cells that fire together wire together, for good or bad. It is the inevitable outcome of trying to resolve a neurophysiological issue by the process of elimination. You in fact reinforce the undesired response.


This not about perspective, mindset or positive thinking. So many people say to me when I begin to talk about making incremental changes, or how to reproduce safety in movement. Yes, I know. Then wonder when they get home why they can't just do what they know they should do. Because its not about cognition or intelligence. It's not about what you think you know. It's the dissonance between the knowing and the actual doing specifically according to your context and conditions (no one else's). It's about what's underneath, how it is experienced. And you can't touch it with smarts. Your system is way too clever to go " Ah I see. Yes you know. So I will simply do what you command." With a most disdainful eye roll.

Whilst underneath that whole level in the control room are busy saying:

"We've got an amateur here, he thinks he can outsmart us. Hilarious."

Your trying to control a survival system with sheer insistance or determination.

That's like saying the pen is blue when it's really red. That's a lot of effort for no result.


It is why we know what is healthy but don't stick to the plan. Why we know we need to move our bodies but tell ourselves that 5 minutes walking with an injury is just not good enough. That won't do anything.

It's why we focus on the things we didn't complete rather than the things we did. And why think we've tried everything or haven't done anything at all.


Instead of this self defeating cycle, shift towards repeating more of the conditions that work in your favour and repeat less of those that are keeping you actively stuck. It takes repetition. Successful repetition. The 5 minute walk. Not without discomfort. But actual completion just within the borders of pain.


It is the acceptance of duality and tipping the scale towards the desired outcome over time.


If you want to know how to move through this step by step and finally regain your sense of freedom and trust in your body go to:









 
 
 

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